` THE RALLY `
Thursday, April 10, 2008
will be "resigning" from school soon,eugene called to ask me to re think this decision, thanks bro, i do understand that u care, but i have more or less decided to leave, sorry to disappoint, but i may make a come back depending on time, and financial abilities, and the will if it ever comes back.... this feeling is depressing, was having breakfast this morning and the whole thing abt religion came back to me..... a story i heard: cancer patient was so wanting to live, he wanted to try and medicine that may potentially cure him, and bcuz of this, the doctor gave him this pill,which was a new testing drug in America, after taking it, within 2 weeks,the cancer was gone, he was healthy for 2 mths, till he found that this particular drug( cant remember the name) was publish on the news papers and was said that it was a failed project, his cancer came back almost immediately, and this same doctor, knowing this patient's mentality well, decided to give him a new pill that consisted of sugar in a capsule and told the patient that it was the newly developed medicine from the last failed one, this was sure to work. few weeks later, he was cured... and lived on , well and happy, till one day, he found out that there was no such "part 2" of the medicine, his cancer immediately came back and he died shortly. placebo effect....coming back to this, religion, my past,i held on to religion bcuz it was my support , my belief system, prayed and believed that it will help me and it really did help heal those scars,immune system became better, mind over body, but realized that all this was just a "system" that was in built in the human's mind.... the mind is a powerful living organism, have always believed in fighting for your wants and needs but always knowing that when lost, u can turn to god, but in Christianity as far as i know, its leaving everything to god, yet there's a phrase, god helps those who help themselves. humans need a religion or something or anything to believe in as support, but nowadays i am physically seeing "good" obsessions , like yesterday at parkway, went to get some groceries and saw this christian shop which had christian bingo game, holy poly(monopoly) and chirstwords puzzle... cups, ties, books, pens, sweets ,everything christian... its... i dunno, no comments, sometimes people stubbornly believe in a support system,be it religion or an item( e.g. money) , obsessions comes about and the person believing becomes so absorbed in that belief, that , they no longer realise that people around them thinks that they are mad and ppl are getting scared( seeing this obsession).i think that no matter what,each individual human should have the rights to choose their religion or their beliefs(what ever they believe in, to make them feel better), sometimes, i dont understand why does every conversation that blows up has the bible or something to do with religion brought in? what does decisions that i have to make at the end of the day has anything to do with god?seek god for solutions, i need solutions now, not leave it up to god,schools have closing dates..... and being rebellious by nature, the more u tell me abt a religion which i have already have lesser or almost no faith in, the more it pushes me away......have no idea why this issue came into my head this morning, could be because of the guilt of leaving sch?
brakes applied at |4/10/2008 06:09:00 PM|
